The Easter Bunny must DIE
by INMH
Summary: Marluxia informs Demyx about the Easter Bunny, Roxas gets ketchup all over his room, and chaos reigns at a mall… Sequelish to April Fool’s Day.


The Easter bunny must DIE…

Rating: PG-13/T

Genre: Humor

Summary: Marluxia informs Demyx about the Easter Bunny, and chaos reigns at a mall… Sequelish to April Fool's Day.

Author's Note: I don't know what possessed me to write this. I just thought it'd be funny.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, there would be so much yaoi, the hardcore fans would faint.

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A week. A WEEK it had been since the incident on April Fool's Day with Axel, Roxas and Demyx. And now… _this_ little catastrophe struck. Again, Xemnas found himself kneading his temples, and in desperate need for aspirin as he faced the other members of the Organization.

"I want," He said in a slow, deliberate, monumentally pssed off voice, "-An explanation. A _detailed _one." His amber eyes scanned over the seven guilty Nobodies before him. Eventually, the settled on the one who'd been the cause of the April Fool's Day scolding. "From _you,_ Number Nine." Demyx fidgeted uneasily.

"Do I have to?" Xemnas shut his eyes. Counted to ten. Opened his eyes. Paused. Shut them, and counted again- this time, to twenty. When he felt that he wouldn't go into a shrieking rage (He figured it would make things easier, but Saix had been attempting to break him of the hysterical, violent outbursts recently), he opened his eyes again.

"No, Demyx, you don't." Demyx grinned and sighed with relief.

"I don't?"

"No. You always have the option of being _skinned **alive!**_" Xemnas roared. Oh well. He was only into the first week or so of the anger-management thing. "NOW TALK!" Demyx cringed and sunk as far into his seat as he could, whimpering.

"Well…"

---------

(Flashback)

"Hey, Demyx," Demyx looked up at the pink-haired Nobody that stood before him, and flinched. The only time Marluxia smiled at the Melodious Nocturne was when he intended to do something thoroughly unpleasant (Dumping dirt on his head, summoning vines to wrap around him, sending a giant Venus Flytrap to chase him around, etcetera, etcetera).

"Yeah…?" Demyx mumbled, scooching his seat back a little. Marluxia leaned in, a wide-eyed innocent look on his face.

"Do you know what the Easter Bunny is?" Demyx leaned back further, somehow hoping to melt in with the seat.

"Um… Is it… A bunny?" He asked. Marluxia grinned even wider.

"Very good!" He beamed. "But do you know what he _does_?" Demyx made a troubled, whimper-like noise, and shook his head. Marluxia dropped the innocent look and went for a more sinister one. "Would you like me to tell you what he does?"

"If I say no, you're going to tell me anyway, aren't you?"

"Yep."

"Then just say it." Marluxia pulled over a chair and plopped down into it, that twisted little smirk never leaving his face.

"Well," The pink-haired Nobody leaned in. "The Easter Bunny is a giant bunny that sneaks around into places and kills children." Demyx's eyes widened. "And after he kills them, he _eats_ them, and leave brightly painted eggs on their beds." Demyx gasped and his eyes widened further.

Marluxia was having a really tough time keeping a straight face. This was just _too_ perfect. The amusement of having a ridiculously gullible member of the Organization just never ended. "But don't worry," He continued, sounding as placating as possible, standing up and moving to the door. "He only comes once a year." Demyx sighed with relief.

"When does he come?" Marluxia turned back, a sweet smile on his face.

"Tomorrow night."

Demyx fainted clean out of his chair.

---------

(Present)

"So, from what I understand…" Xemnas muttered, rubbing his temples. "You, Number XI, told Demyx that the Easter Bunny was a child killer."

"Yes." Xemnas took a deep, deep breath.

"Why?" Marluxia shrugged.

"It's fun to screw with his head." Axel, nearby, let out an enraged and frustrated shriek before pouncing on the flower-controlling Nobody. Luxord and Zexion groaned and then jumped up to restrain the redhead.

"FUN? ALL THAT CRAP HAPPENED BECAUSE YOU WANTED SOME FUN?!" Axel shrieked.

"ENOUGH!" Xemnas roared. Everyone immediately jumped back to their seats (Marluxia with a bloody nose). "Over half of the Organization was involved in this… _embarrassment_…" Everyone cringed as the 'incident' was mentioned. "There's more to this, and I dread to hear it. Go on, IX. XIII, I believe _you_ were involved in this next part…"

---------

(Flashback)

The next day, Demyx could be found jumping a mile whenever someone spoke suddenly to him. Even without a heart, he was as timid as a kitten. At one point, when he was in the Dark City, Xaldin found the blonde wandering around and calling "Here Bunny, bunny, bunny…", with his Sitar out, and in a swinging position. Xaldin had briefly considered asking Demyx what he was doing, but then decided against it, thinking,

"I really don't want to know."

Marluxia, in the meantime, was setting up the 'King of All Pranks' to play on the water-controlling Nobody; it involved some brightly painted eggs, some screaming, and the knowledge that none of the other Organization members would be within earshot of a certain keyblade-wielding Nobody's room for hours.

At midnight that night, Demyx was the only one- unbeknownst to him- in the hall with everyone's rooms in them. He was on his bed, sitar posed like a bat, and eyes darting around nervously. His imagination had been running wild since Marluxia had told the story, and now Demyx's image of the Easter Bunny was a twisted one.

The Easter Bunny in his mind had rotting green fur, red and black eyes, long, sharp teeth, worn claws, and a basket full of rotted eggs that he put on the poor, dead child's bed… Not to mention that it must have some sort of evil, supernatural powers to sneak around for so long without getting caught… Demyx shuddered. Well, the Easter Bunny wasn't going to get him! There was only one way in and out of his room, excluding if one of the other members used a portal-

Demyx's eyes widened in horror. Oh no- _what if the bunny could make dark portals?_ If it was truly a creature of the deepest pit of hell, it surely must have some sort of dark, evil powers! The blonde moaned and shut his eyes. He should have asked Axel to stay with him, and burn the psychotic, giant rodent if it came for him.

"Wait a minute," Demyx suddenly said aloud. "The Easter Bunny only comes for kids… And I'm…" He thought for a long moment. "Uh… Eighteen… Nineteen… Something like that… So I'm not a kid!" …Despite the fact that the older members had a habit of calling him, Marluxia, Axel, Zexion, Larxene and Roxas 'Kids'.

Wait a minute.

Demyx gasped.

"ROXAS!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" A bloodcurdling scream came from two doors down… From Roxas' room. Demyx let out a shriek and jumped off the bed, charging out of his bedroom and down to the youngest member of Organization XIII's. Kicking open the door, Demyx came upon a horrifying scene.

Blood (Which, oddly enough, had a tomato-like smell to it) was splattered on the walls, floor and ceiling. And Roxas was nowhere to be seen. "ROXAS! ROXAS! WHERE ARE Y-" Demyx stopped, horrified. For on the Key of Destiny's bed… was a small, painted egg. "AHHHHHHHHHH! EASTER BUNNY ATTACK! EASTER BUNNY ATTACK! RUN FOR THE HILLS!" He shrieked, charging out the door. "SUPERIOOOOOR!"

He went to turn a corner in the hall, and-

_**WHAM!**_

He collided head-on with Roxas, who had been tipped of by a certain pink-haired Nobody that there was going to be a bit of a ruckus in the living quarters. "SHT! Demyx, watch where you're going!" Roxas snarled, rubbing his head. Demyx stared at him in shock for a moment. Then, he shocked- and scared, a little- Roxas by pulling the teenager into a back-breaking hug.

"YOU'RE ALIIIIVE!" Demyx howled.

"I… Won't be for much l… longer if you… don't let me go!" Roxas choked. Demyx let go, chuckling sheepishly.

"Whoops, sorry. But what happened?" His eyes widened. "Did you use your keys to cut your way out of the Easter Bunny's stomach?" Roxas stared at the Melodious Nocturne for a very, very long time.

"… What the _hell_ are you rambling about?" He asked.

"There was blood all over your room! And the Easter Bunny left his calling… egg… on the bed! Marluxia told me-" They were both interrupted by a howl of hysterical laughter, before Marluxia circled the corner.

"Oh- Oh, this it too good," He gasped, laughing so hard that tears were streaming from his face. Demyx blinked.

"So… The Easter Bunny didn't eat Roxas?" Again, this earned a confused and "WTF?" look from Roxas, but Demyx didn't notice it.

"I'm gonna go to my room now," The smaller blonde said. "Where it's _sane_." He stood up and walked, dazed, to his room.

"Demyx, you wet match!" Marluxia howled. "I made it up! The Easter Bunny didn't come at all!" He cackled. Demyx blinked again.

"He… Didn't?"

"**_WHO THE HELL SOAKED MY ROOM IN KETCHUP?!_**"

---------

(Present)

Xemnas buried his face into the palms of his hands, shaking his head as he did so. "So, then what?" He hissed. "Obviously _that_ wasn't the end of the story either."

"Uh…"

"I'll tell it," Luxord muttered. "I think Demyx was too hyped up at the time to recall what he was doing. Anyway, Roxas was furious at Marluxia and Demyx for whatever happened… I think he was disinclined to ask exactly what… and made them come with him to chip in for the supplies he would need to get new sheets and repairing equipment to get the stains out of the walls and floor… and ceiling.

"But he didn't want to get stuck with them alone, so he asked Zexion, Axel and myself to accompany him to this so-called 'Mall'…"

---------

(Flashback)

"Why is everyone staring at us?" Demyx asked as the various patrons of the mall stared at the seven men in black coats.

"Weirdoes," Zexion muttered with a shrug. Axel glared at them all.

"What's wrong with you?" He barked at the people. "Never seen a bunch of guys in cloaks shopping before? SCREW OFF!" Everyone immediately scurried away from the incensed redhead. Luxord sighed.

"Yes, Axel, an excellent method to convince people that we're normal…" The British Nobody mumbled. Axel crossed his arms in a moody manner.

"Don't want to convince 'em we're normal," He grumbled. "Just wanted them to stop staring at us."

"Whatever. Can we just do this and get it over with?" Roxas grunted, still intensely pssed at Marluxia and Demyx for whatever the hell they did to his room (More so at Marluxia, who seemed to be the brains behind whatever happened). Checking the list in his hand briefly, the child jerked his head to the left. "This way."

As they walked by a store, Demyx couldn't help but noticing the many stuffed rabbits and brightly colored eggs that lined the store windows. He made a point to stick very close to Axel, to the point where he accidentally stepped on the back of the redhead's shoes several times.

Then, all hell broke loose.

There happened to be a line of people in front of a clothing store. All of which with small children. And sitting in a chair, at the head of the line… "Well, there's a job I'd hate to be stuck with," Luxord snickered.

"Likewise," Marluxia added. Demyx looked at the chair, suddenly horrified.

"**_EASTER BUNNY!_**"

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(Present)

"Seven counts of disorderly conduct. Two counts of battery. One count of assault with a deadly weapon-"

"Oh, come on, how deadly is a sitar?" Marluxia scoffed. He shrunk back, however, when Xemnas gave him a piercing, murderous glare, before taking a long, deep, calming breath and turning back to the others.

"Whatever. I don't care. But let's be _clear_. Demyx, are you completely aware _now_ that the Easter Bunny is not an evil demon that kills and eats children?" Demyx nodded sheepishly. "Are you also aware that, as a condition of your parole, none of you are to go within a hundred feet of that man again?" The seven Nobodies blushed deeply, and then nodded.

"Yeah, we get it."

"Good."

-End


End file.
